Okie Doke

Well, since everything looks alright on my “test” post I guess I can start by letting you know a little bit more about me! 

I already told you that I’m awesome and more people should know that but, also, most days I should remember how awesome I am because I’m bipolar.  So, I have days when I can rule the world and days that are just hell.  I’ve been dealing with it for a long time now (13 years) even though I’m only 28 myself.

Everything just kind of came to a head when I was 15 and I had my first major depressive episode that landed me in the hospital.  Everyone thought that I was dealing with unipolar depression so I was treated with an anti-depressant BUT that sent me into hypo-mania/mania (super high energy, can do anything and everything, huge plans, irritable, and a few other things) for the rest of my high school career and into the start of my college career.  So, for that time, things were great!  And then I stopped taking my medication at the beginning of my second year of college. 

This was when the roller-coaster started.  Up, down, upside-down, around, backward.  It was a weird time…and then it became the second time I ended up in the hospital.  I had such huge ideas and dreams and then I lost all meaning to everything.  It’s really hard to explain but if you have read anything by Jenny Lawson or Allie Brosh (I hope they don’t mind that I just plugged them…) about the depression part; you know what I’m talking about since they nailed it. 

So, again, the bipolar thing was missed and I went on and off of my medications for the next couple of years with a few more hospitalizations thrown in there too…  Then, FINALLY, about three years ago I was properly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I (along with Panic/Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, BPD, OCPD, and ADD…yeah, I think I got them all – I’m a mess, I tell ya [but an awesome one]). 

I guess I decided to throw all of this in right away so that you could take it or leave it.  I’m on medication and seemingly doing well thus far.  I’m super quirky and obsessed with my cat so I’m sure that those will show themselves eventually but I just wanted to get a bit of myself out there too.  I just wrote a long FaceBook post (that probably confused my friends or had them saying “Yeah, girlfriend!”) about what a “hero” is and why I hate that I’m never considered one so I decided that I was one, in fact, and that anyone EVER was one as well.  To quote myself, “We’re all heroes in our own right and it’s time that we take a hold of that and make it ring true to and for ourselves.” 

Well, those are my awesome words for now.  I’m still learning about all this blogging stuff and PROMISE I will have super hilarity on here, cross my heart!  For now, you know a bit about me and what I stand for (aka: you- standing proud and strong) and hopefully I don’t get in trouble with Jenny or Allie (I love them so that would be crushing)!  AH!  Anyway, until tomorrow…when I’ll introduce you to my cat.  Be prepared.  He’s adorable and I’m obsessed.



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