Toby’s Adventure Into Antibiotic Land and Hilarious Singing Vocal Impersonator, Christina Bianco

I only have a short post today since I’m keeping a close eye on my sleepy kitty.  This new antibiotic seems to be doing it’s job for his Upper Respiratory Infection, but it makes him so sleepy and he just passes out (or it seems like it).  He’s currently sleeping spread-eagle and it’s SOOOOOOOOOOO hilarious looking but if I move to get my phone, which is right next to him, to take a picture I’m afraid he’ll wake up and move.  Just take my word for it – it looks hilarious!

On a side-note, I’m getting nervous about the improv class that’s happening tomorrow since I’ve found out that no one that I know will be going to it.  Guess we’ll have to see how my anxiety is tomorrow before I decide to go or not.  If I don’t, it’s not the end of the world since I do have a ton of errands to run anyway.

Well, this was a boring post.  Sorry about that!  I promise to make up for it very soon and, in the meantime, here is a video of a very hilarious vocal (as in singing) impersonator, Christina Bianco:


Oh, Youth…

Some days I just FEEL old.  I know, I know.  Riddikulus!  (Harry Potter nerd joke inserted there.)  😀  As I’ve already told you, I’m 28 and most days that feels like I’m some where in my late 30s.  Most of my friends are married and a lot have started having babies and I’m just hanging out here having a cat…maybe I need twelve more to become a bonafide cat-lady…(or definitely maybe not).

Besides feeling old, I’m finally starting to feel like I’m coming out of my 8 month depressive episode so that’s positive!  Maybe I won’t feel so old once I’m all the way out and to help push myself a little bit, since I have anxiety and some agoraphobia going on, I was thinking of going to an open workshop to work on some improv theater.  I’ve always loved theater (and music…mostly music) and all of the great people you get to meet so I thought it might be something fun to do.  I am, however, already showing signs of my high anxiety…(I’m totally fine with acting silly, stupid, and funny around people that I already know but I don’t know most of the people that are in the group…eeeek) so I’m a little scared!  Usually, that’s when my false bravada kicks in and saves me from untimely humiliation or timely humiliation…whichever.  I have no idea when all this crazy anxiety started as I never used to have any problems when I was younger; I was the belle of the carport ball and Toby loves my improv’d singing!

When I say, “Belle of the carport ball,” I mean that I performed in my grandparent’s carport for all of their friends on the weekends when they’d have their friends over sipping beverages and laughing and having a good time.  I loved to be the center of attention and when I got up to perform my musical numbers, I was.  I’ve always loved to sing.  I loved it so much that I went on to college to pursue opera but…dun,dun,dunnnnn: GERD happened (I hate GERD) and that stopped me from my grand performance destiny.  Truthfully, that’s okay with me (now) because performing wasn’t fun anymore and something that I had loved for so long and had wanted to be a part of for so long should have remained fun – otherwise, it wouldn’t have been worth doing.  So, now, it’s a past-time that I haven’t had much energy or push to do because of my most recent depressive episode.  Wah-wah…  Now, that can change since there’s finally an opportunity out there for me to change it myself!

Jumbled story short (can you tell that I haven’t had my ADD medicine for the past couple of days?), I’m going to have to take my anxiety-ridden butt out this Saturday to the open improv group where I’ll know either no one or only a couple people and let my freak-flag fly.  The only way I can get out there again is TO get out there again.  I don’t need marriage or babies (HEAVEN FORBID!) and I don’t need to feel old.  I’m still young and I have a lot of time to do a lot of things and there are a lot of things that I still want to do (AND I’m particularly stubborn so I know that I won’t just let opportunities pass me by – that’s one of my good qualities).  I’m weird.  I like being weird.  I like being funny.  I like making other people laugh.  I like being musically talented and I like sharing that talent…even if it’s just with my cat (because he really does love it because I’m so amazing…seriously).

Hopefully, you guys can take some time to think of some ways  to get yourselves out there – to be more present in your own lives.  Don’t let them just float on by…I’ve already let that happen for too long and it doesn’t do anything for anyone.  Do something for you today, even if it’s something little.  You deserve it!  Be your own carport belle of the ball!



Enter Toby

This is my cat:


His name is Toby and he is ridiculously cute and provides me with a bagillion hours of entertainment and endless love.  He’s kind of a “special needs” cat because he has something call Calicivirus which basically means he will pretty much always have an Upper Respiratory Infection (sneezing, snotty, basically looking miserable, and making me feel so sad when he has one).  He ALSO gets constant UTIs and we’ve had some pretty bad scares with crystals forming (those could kill him, so I hope that that NEVER happens).  Oh, and he happens to weigh 20lbs.  He’s a big cat though, so I don’t think the weight thing is soooooo bad… (right?)  Anyway, right now he’s having to take a lot of medications to keep everything under control (we’re kind of twinsies because of that).  All in all, none of that really matters anyway because I love him because he is who he is and happens to be the nicest, sweetest, most loving cat I have ever met.  I’m very lucky to have my Tubbyfluffybutt as my baby.

We’ve been playing all morning and by playing, I mean that we woke up at about 8:00am (because a cat snuggling with your face will do that to you).  So, I got up…BUT…I didn’t feed him right away.  I decided to change out his litterbox, take a shower, take out the trash (in Wisconsin…in flip-flops…with wet hair…in a tank-top…and struggling to get the bag in the can – I was a mess), and then I started laundry ALL BEFORE FEEDING MY STARVING, MISERABLE, POOR, UNLOVED BABY KITTY! Because of this, Toby was being all dramatic and by the time I got to feeding him, he was the most pathetic meowing cat in the history of his kingdom (which is my entire apartment and some of the outside when he’s on his leash or in his stroller – yes, leash and stroller…don’t judge me).  I fed him, but – HA! – the joke’s on him because there was medicine in that delicious wet special food.

A bit later since I was doing laundry, it was the best time of the day – SHEET CHANGING TIME!  Toby loves to play with the sheets while I’m making the bed.  It definitely doesn’t help or save time, but he loves it so much so I always let him play and he always makes me laugh.  We finally got the bed made after about half an hour and then we got on to some more playing, some brushing, some relaxing (well, I folded the clean laundry so I didn’t get to relax), and it was lunchtime!  I had to sneak some more medicine into his food because my dude does NOT like to take liquid medicine and I can’t find a way to give it to him while I’m alone…ergo…sneaky.

I really can’t believe how fun and funny my days are just because of him and I love knowing that he really knows how much I love him.  I don’t know what I’d do without my man!  Right now, we’re watching ‘Identity Thief’ and playing with tissue paper and a catnip filled fuzzy bunny.  Who knows where the rest of the day will take us but I know it will be awesome because two awesomes make one GIGANTIC awesome (so that’s us).

Tobias Charles (aka: Toby, Tubbyfluffybutt, Fluffers, Butthead) is the best thing that has ever come into my life and I could not be more grateful for all of the love he has brought to me and for all the love that he has allowed me to give to him.  He’s my fluffy hero that taught me how truly love fully.  Thanks, buddy!

Bri & Toby (Who is still playing with tissue paper and a catnip filled fuzzy bunny!)

Okie Doke

Well, since everything looks alright on my “test” post I guess I can start by letting you know a little bit more about me! 

I already told you that I’m awesome and more people should know that but, also, most days I should remember how awesome I am because I’m bipolar.  So, I have days when I can rule the world and days that are just hell.  I’ve been dealing with it for a long time now (13 years) even though I’m only 28 myself.

Everything just kind of came to a head when I was 15 and I had my first major depressive episode that landed me in the hospital.  Everyone thought that I was dealing with unipolar depression so I was treated with an anti-depressant BUT that sent me into hypo-mania/mania (super high energy, can do anything and everything, huge plans, irritable, and a few other things) for the rest of my high school career and into the start of my college career.  So, for that time, things were great!  And then I stopped taking my medication at the beginning of my second year of college. 

This was when the roller-coaster started.  Up, down, upside-down, around, backward.  It was a weird time…and then it became the second time I ended up in the hospital.  I had such huge ideas and dreams and then I lost all meaning to everything.  It’s really hard to explain but if you have read anything by Jenny Lawson or Allie Brosh (I hope they don’t mind that I just plugged them…) about the depression part; you know what I’m talking about since they nailed it. 

So, again, the bipolar thing was missed and I went on and off of my medications for the next couple of years with a few more hospitalizations thrown in there too…  Then, FINALLY, about three years ago I was properly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I (along with Panic/Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, BPD, OCPD, and ADD…yeah, I think I got them all – I’m a mess, I tell ya [but an awesome one]). 

I guess I decided to throw all of this in right away so that you could take it or leave it.  I’m on medication and seemingly doing well thus far.  I’m super quirky and obsessed with my cat so I’m sure that those will show themselves eventually but I just wanted to get a bit of myself out there too.  I just wrote a long FaceBook post (that probably confused my friends or had them saying “Yeah, girlfriend!”) about what a “hero” is and why I hate that I’m never considered one so I decided that I was one, in fact, and that anyone EVER was one as well.  To quote myself, “We’re all heroes in our own right and it’s time that we take a hold of that and make it ring true to and for ourselves.” 

Well, those are my awesome words for now.  I’m still learning about all this blogging stuff and PROMISE I will have super hilarity on here, cross my heart!  For now, you know a bit about me and what I stand for (aka: you- standing proud and strong) and hopefully I don’t get in trouble with Jenny or Allie (I love them so that would be crushing)!  AH!  Anyway, until tomorrow…when I’ll introduce you to my cat.  Be prepared.  He’s adorable and I’m obsessed.


Testing Testing

Howdy, all!  I’m just testing this first post out to see what it looks like.  I promise I’ll get on to lots more fun and interesting stuff soon!  First the introduction:  My name is Bri and I’m totally awesome (or I think so and more people should too).  I have a cat that I’m obsessed with whose name is Toby and we’re entangled in a battle of wits currently due to the fact that he’s always sick and always having to take medicine (he’s smarter than me and outlasts me in our stand-offs).  It’s okay now…I just tricked him into taking some medicine.  Hopefully this looks alright.  We’ll see!  Anyway, hopeful I’ll chat with you soon!

Bri (&Toby)